Where The Sun Won't Shine
by AudienceOfOne
Summary: It was time to give up the fight and abandon her for his soul mate.
1. Chapter 1

**A/u: Okay so this story was originally named 'Circles' and inspired from the song Circles from Hollywood Undead. This fanfic was originally written as a one shot and due to some urge of creativity in me, I decided to change up the plot and make it as a story line. If you've read this before, you could tell it is a minor change but minor changes can stories by a lot. Also, I was wondering if anyone wanted to Beta/Co-Own this story with me. I'm really young and I can't handle it on my own. I get stuck many times and I would like for someone to help me out. Annnnnd now, I present: Where The Sun Won't Shine.  
**

_"On that day that day, The day I walked away in December. _  
_I will always remember. I'll regret it forever._  
_ I remember brown eyes, So sad and blue skies. _  
_Turned to darkness and night. I'm so sick of the fight." ~ Deuce.  
_

It is their last night together; he could feel the change in the atmosphere and he despises it. Their future together wasn't supposed to end like this. He was supposed to break the chains that hold him to the young child that is known as his imprint. Jacob smooths the girl's hair, feeling each silky strand in between his fingers. Her hair has grown over the past months while she was in his pack since he allowed it and she's too humble to admit that she's thankful for it. Leah has never felt any more beautiful but at the same time - that feeling of belonging and beauty is vanishing quickly as the child grows.

He won't break her heart. Shes already had enough men do that to her.

Her father, Sam, her brother..

"Leah," he mumbles into her ear while pushing some strands of her out of her face. It's these simple things like laying down in the woods that make him fall for her all over again. There's a feeling in his stomach when he realizes he loves her but it's not a pleasant feeling. It's a feeling of wrong and regret. He'll never regret loving her; he regrets that his love for her isn't enough to keep him away from the little girl with chocolate brown eyes just like her mother.

There is silence so Leah nods for him to proceed. She feels like words would destroy these perfect moments that are counted down. Leah doesn't know how he she's supposed to feel. It makes her wonder if she was a murderer in her past life because there is no way that fate can repeatedly screw her over for no reason. It wasn't fair that she suffered while everyone around her were living their lives to the fullest.

"I went over to the Cullens today and they're moving for a few years or so... Renesmee wants me to go with them."

Her body freezes as she turns around to face Jacob, hoping it's a joke. But when she notices the pained expression on Jacob's face, she knows.

"Leah," he whispers, thinking what else to say. What do you say right after you break someone's heart? I'm sorry? Sorry doesn't even make up for anything. He's sorry, but he can't help not regretting his decisions. "We both knew that this day could come at any time. We knew that I would have to eventually face my fate."

"Besides," Jacob adds. "Who am I to try to break the imprint?"

Leah opened her mouth in disgust. It's like he doesn't even know what he's saying. He says it too calm and it Leah wonders if she was just something to play around with until the day came. "Who are you?" She repeats with a harsh tone. "I fucking thought you were Jacob Black."

She walks away, holding in the tremors of sobs that threaten her body.


	2. Chapter 2

**Where The Sun Won't Shine.**

She feels enclosed as she sits on the wooden pew in church; every wolf's heat bounces back and forth between the walls. _It's way too hot in here and this small fucking church will be the death of me. _Everyone knew that the bride was quite disappointed because she wanted something bigger but he couldn't give that to her even if she was his imprint. No one seemed to realize that the wolves couldn't give their imprint everything they wanted and that was the harsh reality for Emily.

Everyone keeps giving her little stares when they think she isn't looking but she sees them. _Bastards. _It amazes her that idiots from high school are there; they're only there for the gossip. They're hoping that she'll stop the wedding out of her bitterness and love for Sam but she won't.

The pity stares from the others is what she hates most. They keep asking if she is okay and honestly, she is not okay but it's for a whole different reason. She looks up and makes eye contact with_ him_. He looks back with the expression, 'I'll talk to you later' because he doesn't have time right now since he's with his imprint. Sam let the treaty slide for this event so that Jacob could bring Renesmee to the wedding but she was the only Cullen allowed here. The treaty didn't matter anymore because in a few days _they_ will leave, taking _her Jacob _with them.

For the first time in a long time, she's dressed up – her scorching backless red dress stands out from the bride's maid which was the whole point. She didn't know why she accepted in the first place when she was still bitter about the wedding. Leah Clearwater may have been over Samuel Uley but she didn't want to see him move all while she run in the same obstacle-never moving on from this point in her life- forever stuck. Her dress is somewhat sliced open from her thigh down to her leg. Paul mentions _"damn, showing skin"_ several times but it is quickly followed by an _'ow' _since Rachel quickly slapped him with her purse.

Black liquid eye liner forms a little wing at the top of her eyelid and on top of that, there's that Smokey eye that is secretly killing Jacob. She has her long feathered-like eye lashes curled and they're so close to touching her eye brows. Many girls would die to have Leah's eye lashes; it's one of her killer traits. She feels guilty since she outshines Emily in her own wedding and everyone is giving her these stares as if she's trying to seduce Sam. _Ha no, it's for Jacob_.

Her Smokey eyes are attentive to Jacob, waiting for him to look up again. _Just choose me_, she pleads to the man in her head but he won't bulge. She doesn't know why she bothers because it was never a choice in the first place, he'll choose Renesmee no matter what. Sure they may have had a small relationship before and after he imprinted but he's fading away and becoming _hers_. He's never said the words but she's pretty clear that his little speech from last week meant to break things off.

_I love you. Don't leave me. Anyone else but you._

She's not sure when she started to fall for Jacob but she did. It was like a black hole- it consumed her and sucked her in and there was possibly no way to be able to stop it. She doesn't even want to stop it. Does she? Maybe if she accepted the fact that he's not hers then she'd be able to move on.

Pain strikes her chest and the realization came: Jacob Black is leaving La Push next week and she'll have to go back to Sam's pack. _No.._She's much better and healthier in Jacob's pack even if he pushed them to patrol all the time for the bloodsuckers.

The music starts and all eyes turn to Emily; she's beautiful and dressed in white. Every woman in the room starts to worry that they'll never look as gorgeous as her on their wedding day. No one seems to notice the angry scars that torture half of her face, they can't see it because their too caught up with her beauty. Her long black hair is pinned up to the side which makes her more elegant than she's ever been.

Leah looks up to Sam but he wouldn't notice it because his eyes never leave Emily. This is the moment he's been waiting for since he met her and he's_ happy_. Most of the people that are here are Emily's family and the wolf pack. The only person who is here for him is Allison Uley and he's thankful that she's the only person that has never given him up even through everything.

Emily finishes the walk and stands next to Sam Uley but he looks up to Leah one last time. The oddest thing happens, Leah smiles and it's not a forced smile. It's a sincere and happy smile. She wants him to know that he can live his life without having to worry for her because even if people thought the contrary, Leah Clearwater was over Sam Uley but she still managed to have her love troubles with another wolf. No one knew about Jacob and Leah appreciates that fact because she has the worse luck when it comes to men, especially the shape shifters. Sam turns back to Emily with the biggest grin ever, he finally feels whole.

"I, Emily Young, take you, Samuel Uley" Emily says, copying the priest but when he says the next sentence Emily cannot repeat because she's choking on her words. Tears fall silently as she whispers "I'm sorry". Sam strokes her cheek and wipes away her tears.

"To be my lawfully wedded husband."  
…

…  
"Until death do us part."

Sam says his vows more clearly and his voice has just so much confidence when he says "I do". They kiss passionately, their surroundings becoming a blur because all they could see is themselves and this future that they'll have forever. Everyone cheers and some take quick glances to Leah before she slips out of the church so she could finally breathe.

"I thought I'd find you here"

Leah turns to see a woman she has not spoken to in a while. "Hey", she breathes out while walking towards the woman and pulls her into a long embrace.

The woman pulls apart from the hug, looking into her purse. When she finds the item she wants, she lights it and sucks in that first lovely breath. Then releases it slowly; deliberately. She holds out the package to Leah, "Want one?" but Leah shakes her head so she stuffs the packet back into her purse.

"Looking for some air? So was I. How are you holding up?"

"I'm just fine, _Mrs. Uley_. I stopped pinning after your son long ago." She's not surprised that Allison was asking about Sam because she always was ever since that fateful night that Sam dumped her. Mrs. Uley never liked the idea of them being together because that was her baby and Leah was taking him away but eventually, she started to love Leah. Then, as they broke up, she realized how much she'd miss Leah but the companionship was easily replaced by Emily.

Allison Uley finishes up and flicks her cigarette butt onto some nearby bushes- daisies. Leah shrugs, it doesn't show much respect throwing your cigarette to some bushes that are near the church but Allison Uley has never been the one to show respect unless you show it to her. She's an independent strong woman; Leah had her doubts when her relationship began with Sam because she didn't want to upset momma Uley.

Leah breathes out a sigh of relief when she sees the smile on Mrs. Uley's face. "I know you stopped pinning him but do you still love-"; she stops her sentence when she notices Leah's mouth beginning to gape. Allison walks closer, putting one hand to Leah's cheek, caressing it. "I don't know how he could leave such a fierce young lady like you. I adore Emily but you were his first."

Leah can't help but wince at the woman's words. Since she was younger, she always pictured that Allison would be her mother-in-law and she seemed content with that. It took a couple of months before Allison could accept Leah but once she did, she loved her like if Leah was her own daughter. Sam not only left for a couple of weeks, her dumped and broke Leah in a way that no one could. Allison was able to relate to Leah but she couldn't hide the fact that Emily and Sam were perfect together_- too perfect_.

"Thank you for believing that, Mrs. Uley. I don't think most people would agree." Everyone on the Rez considered Leah the bitch and Emily the angel, they were happy when Sam moved on to Emily because they thought that a young well man like Sam needed someone kind and Leah didn't quite fit that profile. She was a trouble maker in the Rez but everyone would let things slide since she was Harry Clearwater's daughter but now Harry is gone so no one is going to stick up for Leah anymore.

"Well, who cares what other people have to say, Leah. What matters is what you think. Do you think I made the right choice?"

"Right choice of what?"

"Handing my little boy off to her. I know Emily is great but she betrayed you. Family is the one thing you're never supposed to hurt and she didn't hurt you. She did something much worse."

Leah lets out a short laugh at that. " … It's okay. I've learned to forgive but not forget." Emily may have betrayed Leah but she didn't have a choice but to love Sam. Sam was Emily's soul mate and nothing could have stopped them from being together. That still didn't give the right to Emily to jump into Sam's jeans as soon as she could. They didn't even bother to apologize to Leah, and it made it harder to forgive them but eventually she did. Leah desperately tried to hold on to Sam; it made her bitter and it brought out the worst in her. Jacob made her realize that sometimes, the past stayed way back in your life for a reason and that it was time for her to move on. The worst part was, she moved on to him..

"I did a good job raising him, right?" Allison Uley feared that she raised her son wrong. She was a single parent and sometimes she couldn't get what was best for Sam. He didn't always have the newest clothing or the brand new shoes. Allison felt shameful every time she had to buy clothing from the Salvation Army or other donation sites like that. She wondered if all those years of being financially troubled would turn Sam into a rebel. He had abandonment issues, she knew that but she didn't know why he would do the same to Leah… Allison thought she taught him better.

"You did the best. Now go over to the ceremony to celebrate for your son" Leah whispers, patting Allison in the back and leading her way back to the ceremony.

...  
At the end of the day, Leah always comes to an empty home. She really wouldn't call it a home because a home is somewhere you cherish- somewhere that holds the best memories. All this house consists is memories from another lifetime. This place stopped being a home once her father took his last breathe. Sue has been taking more shifts at the hospital and Seth lives at his imprint's home, so where does Leah stay? She stays alone; over thinking her life. Loneliness accompanies her every night. It mocks her and she loathes it. Most of these days, she no longer has energy for anything. Her life has officially turned for the worse.

Leah kicks off her heels to the corner of her room but her face pinches in disgust when she notices the figure sitting on her bed.

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" Leah cocks her head to the side, wondering if her imagination was playing mind tricks with her. She thought he made it clear that their 'relationship' was over since he was leaving.

"I'm always here" The tips of his lips curl a bit; making his smug smile spread slowly across his face. It was an honest truth; he was with Leah every night. They never went more than second base, no matter how desperately he wanted to, but he was more than happy with just lying down with Leah and talking about their days.

"No. You said you're leaving. You can't see me on your last week. I just don't want to hear your goodbye." Eyeing the door, she contemplated whether or not to hear him. She didn't want to be pulled back into his magic and love him because she knew that he was never going to be hers. Leah used to think that Sam broke her but really; he prepared her for something much worse. Her throat tightens every time she thinks about Jacob leaving her.

"I clearly remember saying that Renesmee wanted me to go with them, not that I was going to." He says it too smoothly and now he feels fucked up that he confused Leah. Things were never supposed to turn out this way. If only he had broken all contact with Bella and just walked away. He would've been with Leah right now- no pain included. Jacob can feel the pain already since he has been away from Renesmee for exactly ten minutes. It's not like he was counting…

"But but- You even said, who are you to break the imprint"

"I was acting stupid. I wasn't thinking. I'm staying here. For you."

"But you can't leave your imprint. Jacob.."

"Leah, just stop it. I love you. Don't question it."

"You can't leave your imprint."

He growls and pushes her to the bed. "What part of I love you don't you understand, Clearwater"  
Leah looked at him for a moment, trying to decide if he was joking. Finally she shrugged and leaned over, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Jacob laughed and shook his head. "That's not a kiss, Leah." He leaned over and brushed his lips lightly over her's _once, twice, three times_. Then he leaned back slightly to get her response. When she made no move to stop him he kissed her a little more forcefully, running his tongue along her lips. "Open up, Lee."

Slowly she opened her lips for him, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth. He ran the tip of his tongue along her's before pulling back again. When he began to pull back she leaned into him, sliding her tongue into his mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed herself to sink into the kiss.

He leaned over and kissed Leah again, pushing her back onto the bed. He dropped kisses along her jawline and her neck before nibbling on her ear. Leah heard a moan and it took her a moment to realize that it had come from her. She slid her hands up Jacob's shirt, running her hands along his back as his lips made a hot trail on her throat.

At the same time Jacob took the zipper of her dress and pulled it down, pulling away from her long enough to pull it off. His hand slipped up to cup her breast through her bra and they both moaned this time. He reached behind her, undoing the bra and it disappeared.

Jacob sat up and just looked at her for a moment. "You are gorgeous, Lee..." He pulled his own shirt off before leaning back down to her. He flicked his tongue over her nipple and grinned when her back arched. He flicked her tongue over the other one before taking it his mouth. His hand went over to the other breast and mimicked what his tongue did.

Underneath him Leah began to squirm, her back arching and her nails digging into his back. "Oh, Jake." She had never felt this way, not even with Sam. As he switched breasts, taking her other one into his mouth she thought she would die from the sensations.

After paying both of her breasts ample attention he licked a trail down her stomach, pausing to lavish her belly button with his tongue. He ran his tongue along the band of her pantyhose, sliding it inside at some points.

Leah gripped her hands in Jacob's hair when he placed his mouth on her through her pantyhose. Her back arched as she felt his hot breath through the thin material.

Jacob slowly kissed his way back up her body before settling his mouth onto hers again. Their tongues dueled, neither really striving to be in control. Jacob's hand slipped between them and reached to the top of Leah's pantyhose. He slowly began sliding them slowly down over her thighs.

Leah, who was growing impatient, began to help him. "Look Jacob. If you can't do this quicker than that then let me."

Jacob laughed as he yanked the pantyhose the rest of the way off. Somewhere along the way they had both lost their shoes so that obstacle was already gone. He slowly slid Leah's legs open and knelt in between them, his eyes locking with hers.

Slowly the panties slid down her legs and were flung to the floor. He brushed his hand along her inner thigh and her hips lifted off the bed. His hand slid higher, his eyes never leaving hers, and slid into the thatch of hair there. His fingers found her and he brushed the nub hidden there slowly as she began to make small noises in her throat. "Jacob!"

Jacob just grinned and leaned forward to kiss her again. Leah felt something building inside of her and thought that she was going to die. When she came her fingers flexed on Jacob's back, her nail digging in. Jacob kissed her again, swallowing her screams into him. Finally she lay there relaxed and wondering how she would ever move again. When Jacob stood up she turned to him questioningly. "Where are you going?"

Jacob laughed. "Nowhere, I promise." Quickly he rid himself of his pants and came back to her. "I have no place I want to be except here." To show her he meant it he kissed her again, deeply. He pulled back, kneeling between her legs again. He started to guide himself into her, but she stopped him.

"No, wait." She went to her knees, placing a kiss on his lips as she reached between them and grasped him. He moaned as she began moving her hand slowly, her tongue darting into his mouth at about the same speed. After a few minutes she slid down and took him into her mouth.

"Oh God, Leah!" Jacob wrapped his hands in her hair as he showed her the speed that he wanted. Abruptly he pulled her mouth from him, pushing her back onto the bed. He thrust into her and almost sighed at the feel of her around him.

Leah's legs wrapped around his hips as he began to thrust in and out. He was trying to take things slowly, but Leah was having none of it. She dug her nails into his back and began moving her hips to meet his, urging him into a faster pace. "Faster, Jake."

At that, Jacob's control flew out the window and he began to move faster. Both of them were panting as they both drew closer to the edge. "Harder, please...Oh, God!" Jacob began moving harder and his hand slipped in between them. The minute that his finger ran over her, she came apart. "Oh, Jake!"

The feel of her muscles clenching around him caused Jacob to come at that time also. He collapsed on top of her and nuzzled her neck. "I'll always love you." Leah freezes as she hears those words come out of Jacob's mouth because the pit of her stomach is giving her a funny feeling saying that this is not okay and that it never will be.

**~~PREVIEW FOR UPCOMING CHAPTER~~**

Leah makes her slow walk of defeat to the phone, picking it up, and dialing the last person on Earth that she'd ever want to talk to. She waits for one second until she hears the voice on the line. "_Yes, Leah?"_

"You have to come back to get him. He's _dying_ without her." Closing her eyes tightly, she sighs into the phone. _Why couldn't he just win the fight this one time?_

_**Anyways, I was wondering if someone wanted to beta/co-own this story with me. My grammar and writing skills are very poor and my creativity, let me just say that it's miles from perfect. Also, when I do dialogue and movements, I get stuck; I just have a loss of words at what I'm writing and it irritates me! So please, PM me if you're interested! I'm begging. This story has potential; I just need someone to help me write it.**_  
_**I hope you guys liked it! Please send your critics down there VVVV**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

This past week the sun had beamed out of the clouds and shined throughout La Push but not today. Leah wonders if somehow, someone up there had known that today was not going to end well for Jacob considering the fact that today was _the day_. She was taken back by surprised when Jacob had brought her along to say goodbye to the Cullens. They meant nothing to her and all they've done was cause problems for the pack so she was content with their departure but she knew Jacob would be far from content. He had whispered _'I need you by my side_' , throughout the car ride while rubbing her hands and that made everything feel okay for him.

She hated how badly her stomach churned when they stopped the car right in front of the Cullen's house. Many different scenarios went through her head, _what if he decided to change his mind at last minute?_ He wouldn't need anything because they could buy him everything on their way to Alaska. _Stop, Leah. Stop worrying over nothing._ She had to command herself to be optimistic about the situation. He would say bye and they would go back to her house and everything would be okay. Leah loved going to Jacob's house more because everything was better there since Billy knew about them. At first, Billy did not approve but he lightened up of the situation enough to let them be comfortable in his mom but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care. He mentions every day how badly this will end because he knows the imprint pull is too strong and it scares Leah since she knows it too.

They get off the car and walk side to side, their hands slowly finding each others. The feeling they both receive is magical- they can't always be open about their relationship in public but when they are, it's like they are on top of the world and no one can do anything to hurt them.

As they step into the home, Leah notices the way Jacob's throat gulps- hard. All their furniture, even the little graduation caps near the stairs is gone. Absolutely everything and the harsh reality has kicked in for Jacob, they're leaving. Leah tries to ignore the glares that she receives from Bella and they're so bad that even Edward tells her to calm down. Leah's not surprised though. She knew Bella would be furious that she won't get to keep Jacob. As much as she says it's for Renesmee, everyone knows that that deep down, it's for her.

Jacob lets go of Leah's hand and stares at the white walls, letting their move sink in but Renesmee pauses his thoughts when her sixteen year old looking-self jumps onto him. He immediately catches her and Leah has too look away at how perfect and scrutinized their movement is together. It's so unnatural but Leah has gotten used to the fact since all the imprints perfect for each other. Jacob does a little chuckle when he wipes away the teenager's tears, "We'll see each other soon", he says as he tugs a strand of her that's been bugging her to the back of her ear.

"Promise?", she asks, holding up her pinky and Jacob can't help but laugh at the girl because of how much she looks like her actual age, which is 4. Jacob takes a hard look at her face- wanting to remember it because who knows how different she'll look or be when she comes back. He just wants to remember her as the small teenager with her little thin lips and soft puffy cheeks. With a soft kiss to the forehead, he lets her go and says goodbye to the others.

Renesmee walks up to Leah, unexpectedly patting her on the shoulder. When Leah turns back, Renesmee holds onto her hand to show her a clear image of the clearing. She wanted to talk in private but Leah raises her eyebrow in curiosity, not knowing what to say until Jacob nods in her direction. Leah looks back to Jacob when she's walking away but he's too busy playing rough with Emmett.

...

The clearing is beautiful and it's the best time of year for the plants. Purple Alliums blossom from the soil, and the grass is greener than usual. The clearing is Leah's relaxing spot most days. Since its discovery, most of the wolves spend their time here and sometimes even the Cullens. Leah wished that the Alliums smell could overpower the stench of vampire but it does not. She hopes to make this spot her's and Jacob's one day so it could be even more special but she's not too keen on the idea yet. "I know you don't like me-" Renesmee begins but is rudely interrupted by Leah's response of "Mhm.". And honestly, Leah had no idea why she did not like Renesmee. Was it because she was Jacob's imprint? No, it couldn't be. That would make her jealous and she was far from jealous.

"And I wouldn't like you either in your position but I just want you to know that I know how much you mean to him and I need you to take care of him." At first, it pained Renesmee to see how close Jacob and Leah had become because he was her imprint. He was meant to love her and forever be there for her but it wasn't like that. She had wondered if anything was wrong with her because she had seen all the other imprints and they were dedicated to each other. But Jacob wasn't dedicated to her. If she needed him, he was nowhere to be found because he was always at home with Leah. She wasn't upset because she liked him, she had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever, she was upset because Jacob was her best friend and it hurt when your best friend acted like a acquaintance instead of a friend.

"Of course I will, I love him." Leah scoffed out. She couldn't believe Renesmee was asking her to take care of him? Of course she would, Jacob was her everything and she would never think otherwise.

"I know. It's just, he's still my imprint? I just want him to be happy so I'm glad he's staying here with you. I wish things were different. I really do."

"Same here. I wish I had a reason to hate you but I don't. You're really kind and I assumed you would have been spoiled because of your mother…"

"Well I'm not. You have to stop assuming.", the teenager responded angrily. Everyone thought bad of her as if she was some freak. She wasn't like her mother either, who had gotten everything she wanted without sacrifice. Renesmee worked for her shit because she wanted to prove she could be normal just like everyone else. She wanted to prove her place in the world but it was hard when she could have anything she wanted in a snap of her fingers. And just like everyone else, Leah had assumed she'd be spoiled and that angered her.

"Okay. But that doesn't mean that I like you. I just don't hate you."

"And that's fine with me. As long as Jacob is happy with you, then I'm happy. I don't even see him like that anyways.."

...

As Jacob waved to the Volvo that was driving away, he couldn't help but feel a bit relived. But of what? That's the question that was bothering him._ Did he want the Cullens to leave so that he wouldn't be there when Renesmee grew into an adult? Did he just want them to leave so the rest of the pack could move on with their lives and stop shape-shifting for their families? That had to be it, right?_

Leah must have sensed his worried thoughts, she put her hands on his shoulders and started to sooth them. He relaxed into her arms, turning around, he used some forced and shoved her into the ground. Laughing- he snuggled into her neck and kissed her.

"Now what?" she asked, her eyes wide open in curiosity.

"We go out to eat. That's what.", Jacob's stomach had confessed that eating had been on his mind for a while once it growled.

"It's okay, I'm hungry too, big boy." She laughed and patted his stomach.

...

"God Lee, you ate more than me!" Jacob exclaims as he looks at the platter that had gotten empty in the first five minutes of receiving it. After they said their goodbyes to the Cullens, Jacob and Leah had The Lodge to eat. The restaurant wasn't much, but it didn't matter- as long as they were together.

"Well what can I say? This wolf is pretty hungry. And she still has room for desert." She gestures as she pats her stomach. This is what she loves. Food and Jacob. Jacob and Food. Both of them together.

"Your wolf is a fatass! You're paying."

"Aww but please, Jake? I'm craving a banana split." She pouts, her bottom lip extending way more than the top one. It's true. She has been craving ice cream and ice lately. Maybe the heat of the upcoming summer has been playing with her but whatever it is, she was pretty damn desperate to satisfy her cravings.

"Alright, only if you share."

"You wish.", Leah joked but coughing to cover it up, her smile vanishing as the subject turns toward something more serious. "Where do we go from here? Do we tell Sue?" Leah had that question on her mind for a while - telling Sue whenever she saw her.. Sue had been busy with the new nursing shift the hospital gave her and when she wasn't working, she was wasting her time with Charlie. Leah practically lived alone, it was nice at times but she couldn't escape the loneliness that consumed her most days. Seth only came home when he needed clothes since he was practically now living with his imprint. It was a good thing that he never came by when Leah was around. Those voice mails that he sent everyday were deleted for a reason.

"We just stay low, Leah. I don't want to make a big deal about it right now because the main gossip right now is still Sam's honeymoon."

"What about his honeymoon?"

"Well someone saw him sneaking out of their hotel late at night, probably went to phase because his emotions were on the high, and some maid saw and now the new gossip is that he went out to see you."

"Ha. The people in this town seem to love me because my name never leaves their mouths."

"That may be true but I love you way more."

He reaches up to her chin and brings her face to his, with a little peck to her nose, he whispers "Let's go home, Clearwater."

...

The moping, dragging his feet as if he's being forced to walk, and the sleepless nights where he just watches the dark moon has been killing her. It's eating her mentally and emotionally. She doesn't know what to think about the situation, she knows it's all because of the imprint. He hasn't seen Renesmee in a month and he's dying without her. Leah wishes she could say something, anything, to make him feel better but she can't. She doesn't understand how it feels to have your soul mate somewhere across the hemisphere.

She tries to be by his side.. She really has but he won't let her. He pushes her away and it's hurting her because she wished she could be completely there for him. Where was the '_I need you by my side_ Jacob'? She honestly didn't know anymore, she'd like to think that he was there deep down inside but she was losing hope. Not only was she losing hope, but she was losing a struggling fight with the imprint and if she could bet on one of them, she'd be all in for the imprint.

Leah walked into her home after picking up some groceries. Since her mom was never home, Jacob has been staying for the month and Sue has not noticed. Shows how much she pays attention to Leah. She walks in and as usual, Jacob is slouched on the couch not even paying attention to the football game that is showing on the small tv. There's bottles all over the coffee table and Leah is amazed by that Jacob has managed to get drunk even if shape shifters burn off alcohol quicker than they burn calories.

Throwing the groceries onto the table, she returns to the living room and pauses in front of Jacob. "What?" he mumbles.

"Get up. I'm tired of seeing you moping all day."

"Why should I? I have no reason to do so. I have nothing."

Out of anger, Leah smacks the bottles of liquor with all the force she has which sends the bottles to the wall, breaking and splattering glass all over the floor. "You have nothing? You're trying to tell me you have nothing? I'm here, Jacob. I'm here by your side and fighting to be by your side. Now more than ever but how am I supposed to continue when you don't let me? I take one step forward and you take two steps back, our steps never synching. One more like this Jacob and I promise you, you will have nothing."

Leah rushes out of the living room, not wanting to let Jacob see her cry but her body betrays her as the tears spill down her cheeks. Slamming the door of her bedroom, she goes to her bed to muffle the sounds of sobs that wreck her body because she cannot do anything right. She'll never be good enough or do anything that is good enough. She continues to cry as she hears her bedroom door open and doesn't bother to turn when the person sits down on her bed. "Get up, you're getting blood all over your sheets", he says in a serious voice.

"Huh?"

He sits her up on the bed and lifts her wrist to her face. She understands what he means as she sees the blood trickle down from her knuckles. She didn't even notice that she'd hit the bottles hard enough to make them break on impact on her knuckles. "I'm- I'm alright."

"Bullshit. Let me see."

"I'm okay, Jacob! Everything is okay!"

Walking to her drawers, he picked up an old t-shirt, cuts it with his hands, and wraps it around her hand. Ignoring the sign of affection, she whispers a low 'thanks'.

With a nod, he lays down on her bed and in a few minutes, he's peacefully sleeping. She frowned as he slept because this was the Jacob she knew. He was calm and relaxed. If only he could be like throughout the whole day. She quickly exits the room, fearing that she will wake him up. He hasn't slept right in days so she's trying to be as quiet as possible because he must be exhausted.

After cleaning up the mess of bottles, Leah makes her slow walk of defeat to the phone, picking it up, and dialing the last person on Earth that she'd ever want to talk to. She waits for one second until she hears the voice on the line. "Yes, Leah?"

"You have to come back to get him. He's dying without _her_." Closing her eyes tightly, she sighs into the phone. _Why couldn't he just win the fight this one time?_

...

He's awoken by the soft whisper of his name. It's a dream, there's no way his soul mate could be whispering his name in adoration as she always did. It's not possible because they're many miles apart from each other.

As he opens his eyes, he panics because the figure that is caressing his hair and whispering to him is not a Goddess from a dream. She's here with him and he can't help but wonder_ why_? He looks around the room and makes eye contact with the love of his life, she may not be his imprint but she's much more than that. She rises above the imprint factor. His eyes are questioning, asking _'why'_? Why is his imprint here? It'll just complicate them more. He was doing fine without her, wasn't he? As if she's answering those questions that are killing him internally, she shakes her head and looks away. To look at anywhere but them.

"What are you doing here, Ness?"

"I came back for you. I just thought I could handle being away from you but I couldn't. I was fighting for so long but I just couldn't help but miss you. I was getting sick. Literally, I've been in bed all week because I've been so sick. I barely had the strength to come here but I forced myself since it was for you."

"But I can't- I- I- I'm staying with Leah."

"No you're not. She's the one who told me to come get you."

Speechless, he raised up his finger to point to Leah. "Why would you do that? Why! I love you! Why are you doing this to me, Lee. I just want to stay here and love you. Why can't you let me do that?"

"Why would I let you do that if you're deadbeat and miserable by being with me for only one month."

"It's just for now. It'll pass, Leah. I know it will. I love you so much." His voice is pleading and begging which causes Leah to wince.

"Cut the crap, Jacob. You don't belong with me. You're not supposed to love me. You're supposed to be with Renesmee."

Hearing those words hurts Jacob in the chest, his stomach begins to churn and he's hoping he does not barf right at the moment. He thought he would never hear those words from Leah. She was not supposed to hurt him, it just wasn't them. Then again, they were always unexpected as two people so maybe Leah would have said those words sooner or later but he would have preferred it later, years from now.

"Take him away. Please" Leah whispers to Bella. She doesn't want to hear what he has to say out of fear that she'll change her mind and keep him even if he is so miserable with her. Leah just wants him gone and out of her life, since he was never supposed to be in her in the first place. This relationship they created was a mistake and it's taken her a long time to finally accept that truth. "I've already spoken to Billy. I told him he had no choice but to accept the fact that you're leaving. Goodbye Jacob. It's for the best" Walking up to him, she softly kissed his lips for one last time. "I love you."

Bella and Renesmee get him by the arms, take him out the room, and struggle to make the flight down the stairs. When Leah hears the door slam, she rushes to her window and witnesses everything; the loud cries and howls from Jacob, the pushing and strapping him into the car, his tears as he looked at the window and made eye contact with Leah. To think that this is how they're last memory of each other didn't bring closure to her, but she knew it was for the best. If Jacob would have stayed, he would have been just as miserable as before.

She was too stubborn to accept the fact that he wasn't hers but now she's come to the terms of it. If she had to give up Sam for Emily then she had to give up Jacob for Renesmee. That's just the way things were meant to be.

* * *

**HOLY CRAP. I STRUGGLED WITH THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH.** I know it has so much flaws but your reviews and criticism help me get better! So please review!  
I'm disappointed by the rush of this chapter but this is not the point I want to work with so I'm sorry if I'm rushing this chapter and upcoming chapters it's just. **There is a certain point in the story I want to focus on and it's not here. **I'm just like lrljkskjfjlsf. School started (10th grade, whoop whoop! -.-) so I didn't really have time to focus on this but I came through and finished this chapter! Phew. I wish I could have written another preview but I have nothing! Nada.  
I have an idea about what the next chapter will be about but eh, we'll see.

Ohhh you like the cover? I did it myself. It was actually a drawing and I put some color into it, it's not the best but it'll do. By the way, the girl in the cover is Renesmee not Bella! It has no meaning, well not yet. I think? lol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Blank. That was the word that summed up her life at this point. She had been contemplating on going to the nearest university to sign up for a few college classes since the fall semester would be starting soon. The reasoning for wanting to sign up was the fact that the pack was done with phasing and protecting now that the Cullens were gone. There was no use for Leah and she needed to find something to do. She couldn't stay living at her mom's house but did it matter? It seemed like it was her home since she was the only one that was always at the house.

Wiping her muddy shoes on the mat, Leah walked into the diner and sat in her usual spot. It felt vacant because not over a month ago, she had sat in this same spot with Jacob. Now, where was Jacob? She bit her lip until it bled to stop the thoughts about him, she just wanted him out because he never belonged in the first place.

A pair of hands holding a napkin interrupted her thoughts, she accepted the napkin and looked into the owner of those hands. He had a caramel cream tone to his skin, just like the other pair of native boys in their land but his tone was much lighter than most. Coffee colored curls fell upon his face, just a little bit above his green eyes that looked down at her in a questioning look. He softly said, "Sorry. You were bleeding from your lip. Can I take your order?"

"Um yeah, I'd have the platter of pancakes combo."

Leah did not know how long she had been staring off into space because it seemed like a couple of seconds she had just ordered when the same pair of rough hands handed her plate. The pancakes were carved into a smile with fruit for its eyes and bacon for its smile. Was her depressing mood that noticeable? She wondered what else the server had noticed about her.

The intoxicating smell of the warm fluffy pancakes had brought Leah's stomach into growls. She did not know when was the last time she ate because she had not been paying attention. Her life felt like an eternity and time was interminable ever since Jacob's departure. She hated it. The fact that she was slowly becoming a ball of nothing because of him. He was not supposed to impact her that much because she had not impacted him at all.

...

Pulling the keys out of her purse, Leah froze when she heard two voices coming from inside her home. Her mother rarely came and if she did, she would come alone. Sue would never bring Charlie into their home as her boyfriend, Leah knew that Sue would not disrespect Harry like that. Opening the door, she walked in to see the last two people she'd want to see.

*Flashback*  
_"Damit Leah! We needed that money for the rent! Why can't you just admit you stole it!"_

_"I didn't steal it! It was that whore of an imprint!"_

_Leah stepped back as she watched Seth's hands tighten and curl from his anger. Aiyana, his imprint, went to his side and drew little circles onto his back to help him calm down, "It's okay, Seth." she whispered._

_"Get away, Aiyana." He looked up at her, apologetically. She did not know what serious injuries would happen if he were to phase in front of her. Aiyana was his imprint and he could have told her everything about the wolf pack but he decided against it for now. She was too fragile at the moment and he did not think she would take the news lightly._

_"Yeah, get away Aiyana. While you're at it, tell Seth what you used the money for since it's clear that you stole it." Leah sneered. From the moment she met Aiyana, she has done nothing but hate her because Aiyana was nothing near good enough for her brother. Leah was just trying to save Seth but he couldn't see that because he couldn't see anything. Just like the others, he was blinded by the supposed perfection that his imprint held.  
_

_"I didn't Leah. I-I-I- don't know why you're accusing me of something that serious."_

_"You're a fucking liar! I'm accusing you because you did it!"_

_"No. It's okay, Leah. We all know you used that money to buy you the new wardrobe that you recently got. Remember how you were complaining about needing clothes then all of a sudden the money goes missing and you have a bunch of new clothes."_

_"They're from the Cullens!"_

_"Everyone knows you don't like accepting anything from them! Even Seth has told me you don't like anything from them for no reason!" Of course, that wasn't true. Leah had a reason for disliking them but Seth did not need to mention the whole story to Aiyana yet._

_"Seth, how could you believe this stupid bitch! She obviously stole it!"_

_"Shut the fuck up, Leah! Just shut the fuck up!" He put his hands to his forehead, trying to calm down the headache that was building up from all the arguing. Seth was lost at words and he did not know what to say. Whatever he said, it would hurt his imprint or his sister._

_Leah walked up to Aiyana, looking straight into her eyes. "I know it was you. You better fucking fear me because I swear, if you don't fess up, I will make your life into a living hell."_

_"Try me", Aiyana whispered with a wide grin plastered on her face. She knew that whatever she did, Seth would believe what she said. Aiyana did not know how to describe their situation because they had barely gotten together five months ago but it felt like they were together for their whole lives. Seth was younger than her but it did not matter to her because he felt like he was her soul mate. In the inside, Aiyana hated that she was taking advantage of the boy and his love but she felt the same way. She really did. It was her drug addiction that brought out the worst in her but she was trying to become better for Seth, she just didn't know how.  
_

_"Fucking crackhead!" Leah shouted while pushing Aiyana, not hard but hard enough to send her falling down onto the floor. Seth immediately went to Aiyana's aid, grabbing her hand and pulling her up, then told her to wait outside._

_When Aiyana went outside, Seth turned to Leah, "She's been clean for two months! She's getting better but you just keep bringing her down just like you bring everyone else down. Grow up, Leah! It's not all about you. You need to stop acting bitter and grow the fuck up."_

_"Well you're obviously stupid! Look at her! Look at her eyes and see the high in them! I bet you that she got high on the coke this morning. I fucking bet you but no, you're just like the rest of them, blinded by the imprint. Do I have you remind you that you imprinted on a fucking prostitute!"_

_Letting all his anger out with a thrust of his arms, Seth pushed Leah into the nearest object which was a bookcase. Ignoring the blood that dripped from her lower back, he walked towards the door. "I'll work extra shifts to get the rent money that you wasted", he said before walking out of the house. _  
*End of Flashback*

The memory burned in her head, that had happened four years ago but she still was not able to bring herself to forgive Seth. He had broken his promise of sticking with her through thick and thin. Every man in her life had hurt her in their own way but she never thought that Seth would be the one to do it physically. It hurt than Seth had chosen his imprint over her but she knew it would happen anyways, she just wished it did not hurt as much.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to talk to you since you never answer my calls."

Leah shrugged. She could not bring herself to answer those calls or hear the messages either. In her mind, if she just kept ignoring everything the problem would eventually go away but it never worked. "Of course I ignored them. What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to be an adult and answer them so that we can schedule a time to talk. I know I've avoided you too, I just wanted to give you time. We both did." Seth turned to Aiyana and squeezed her hand in reassurance that things would get better. Getting up from the couch, Aiyana walked in front of Leah.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for blaming it on you when I had stolen the money for my drugs. You just need to understand that I was in a pretty dark place at the time. I felt guilty every single day after that incident since I had ruined your relationship with your brother. But I couldn't admit the truth since I was selfish and I needed Seth with me because it was the first time in a long time that I had someone. He helped me overcome this addiction and I can't help but love him. I wish he had come to me and helped me out on his own. It hurts that he was forced to because of the imprint but I'm so glad he was here for me."

"So now you want to play 'oh my life was so bad' guilt card on me?"

"It was bad, Leah! You grew up with a loving family and intelligent brother. I was an only child with a single mother who had worked so hard to make me happy. She was my everything until she passed away and then I finally realized that I was alone in the world. I had no one and I did not know what else to do so I whored myself out in Forks. It was the worst thing I could do because it took me down a pretty dark path but I didn't know what to do. I was only seventeen at the time. I'm not asking for your pity, I'm asking for your forgiveness."

"I-I-I don't know. I just can't, I can't think." A wave of nausea hit Leah, this situation was too much. She couldn't forgive them because she was not ready and there was just too much going on right now. Leah walked to the closest chair to hold herself up, cramps took over her stomach and banged hard against it. Feeling sick to her stomach, Leah put her hand against her mouth.

Seth, beginning to get worried for his sister, pulled out his phone to dial his mom's number. After talking to her, he walked up to Leah and put a hand against her back. "Are you alright, Lee?"

"No", she croaked out. Aiyana and Seth both got Leah by an arm and laid her against the couch. Sitting down against the couch makes Leah wince. Her whole body felt distant and she wanted to cry out in pain. She didn't know why she was so sick but she just wished Jacob was here to make all the pain go away. He would hold her hand and that tiny act of affection would make everything be okay but he wasn't here to do that. And Leah should not wishing for him to do that so she sucked in little gasps of air to keep the pain from getting worse.

When her mom walked into the home, Leah couldn't help but feel relieved so she got off the couch to walk up to her to hug her. It was a big mistake. Leah stopped when her stomach began to clench so she keeled over in pain. She sucked in a breath, not being able to stand the pain. She had not phased in a while but she didn't think she would be able to experience pain like this so soon. It felt like something was cutting her open from the inside and it's hurting her so badly.

"What's wrong, Leah?" Her mother rushed at her side, analyzing every inch of her body, "Where does it hurt?" Sue asks again.

"Everywhere." Leah looked up at her mom in a questioning look because she had no idea what was going on. She felt disgusted when she feels a trickle of wetness running down her inner thigh. Her knees buckle, and she curls up in the fetal position because it hurts so bad and she just wants all the pain to go away.

The whole room goes silent as they watch blood trickling down Leah's legs.

* * *

If you're still reading this, I'm so sorry for the delay! I just didn't know how to start this chapter but I'm pretty satisfied because it's how I imagined the ending would be like. QUESTIONS, COMMENTS? Leave them in the reviews section! Much love to all my reviewers, you guys are the ones that keep me going with this idea of a story. Thank you all! Also, while you're at it, follow me on Tumblr. My blog is bornawkwardly!


	5. Chapter 5

Her eyes opened in horror, Leah slowly put her hand down towards the center of her pants to check for what she unfortunately knew was there, but didn't want to believe it. Questions formed in her head; _how? why? when? Jacob. _

Leah brought her hand up, shakily. She was right.

Her fingers were coated in red.

Something was wrong, something was so horribly wrong.

Time was interminable, seconds feel like minutes and minutes feel like hours. Seth stared at Leah with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He's completely stunned for a second, as if time has stopped, but quickly snaps out of it as reality sets in.

"Fuck, Lee. Let's get you to the Cullens," Seth says emotionless, not knowing what else to say. This was unexpected and no one would have ever thought Leah was able to miscarriage since it was to believed that she was infertile. He hoped that Carlisle had not left with Edward and Bella.

Leah hesitates for a few moments because she had just been fighting for him a few minutes ago. Her brother was the man who chose his imprint over his blood. He made it perfectly clear when he almost broke her spine and did notlook back to see if she was okay. But she was vulnerable and tired, physically and emotionally, so she finally broke down her barrier.

Seth walked towards Leah and Sue was on the other side helping to carry her. Sue helped put Leah in Seth's arms and opened the front door for him. Aiyana was behind her imprint, feeling guiltier than she had ever been. Everything felt like it was going so slow, even though they were really moving this quick in the smallest amount of time.

They took two separate cars, Sue and Leah in one, while Seth and Aiyana had taken their car.

It only took twelve minutes for Sue and Seth to drive crazily to the Cullen's home. But again, an eternity. Leah laid in the backseat, her head rested on the seat right next to her. No one was there to stroke her hair and tell her that it was okay. The pain was making her cry out and cringe. She was letting out sobs, crying for her baby to be okay. The baby that she was unaware of.

Leah rubbed her stomach, softly; just to helped her remember that this was real, that this was happening. She wanted to feel her baby for the last time.

Once they got to the Cullen's home, Carlisle was outside waiting for them. Seth had called him to inform that something was wrong and thankfully, Carlisle and his wife had stayed behind. Running towards the car with a gurney, Carlisle picked up Leah and placed her softly onto it. "We have to perform a D & C", Carlisle said while wheeling her away.

...

It's amazing how things can change in a blink on an eye or in her case, twelve minutes.

When she awoke from her sedation, she looked around the white walls that surrounded her. She loathed the silence that consumed her. It was so quiet. It's not supposed to be that way. When a baby is taken out from you, you're supposed to hear the sound of a crying baby and the many congratulations from your family. Except Leah Clearwater, she did not get that. All she got was she silence which was deafening. The only sound in the room were the sobs and moans coming from herself.

The sounds of machines buzzing and beeping filled her ears. Leah was laying on her side, facing the wall opposite the door. She didn't seem to be in pain anymore. But she looked as if the bright light in her eyes had been taken away from her. Billy had walked in and moved over to her, moving the plastic chair so he could sit in front of her.

She didn't move when he sat near her and sighed. She was pale and so quiet except for the sobs.

"Leah" He said, trying to get her attention.

"I'm sorry." She said. She was barely audible.

"Lee," He said, taking her hand in his, just like her father would have done. "It wasn't your fault…"

"Billy, it was." she said. "I should've known. I should've taken care of myself."

"It's okay. None of us thought you could have gotten pregnant. It was unexpected."

"I _knew_ something was wrong. It wasn't right.. I should've done something, Billy." She cried.

Looking back, she should have sign the signs - the cravings and the feeling of being tired. The first hard lesson she had to learn. She should have listened to her body, she knew it better than anyone. She was her baby's voice. Its cry was silent. Life and death are separated only by a heartbeat, and it only takes a moment for that heartbeat to stop.

But Leah failed her baby. She didn't speak up when she knew something was wrong.

"Please, stop." Billy whispered. "It's not your fault. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I should have never let your relationship with my son continue. I should have stopped you guys once he imprinted. "

That made her cry out even more. The fact that her baby was a mistake is what hurt the most. Maybe that is why she couldn't have her baby in her arms since it was never meant to be her in womb in the first place. But that baby, her baby, it was a miracle. It proved to everyone that doubted her fertility that she was able to have kids but what was the point of that? What was the point of proving that if she couldn't have her baby with her? Leah would never be able to kiss the top of her baby's head and she would never be able to look down into its kind eyes. The eyes that would've been inherited from Jacob.

"Maybe the baby was needed up there.." Billy mumbled.

Maybe it was.

But _why_?

_Why my baby?_

_I guess I'll never know._

Billy slowly walked back to the waiting room, his head hung low for the grandchild that he never got to meet.

* * *

**A/N: BLAAAAAAAAAH. I KNOW YOU GUYS HATE ME.**

I am updating this WAY TOO LATE. I know it's really short but I just couldn't bring myself to write this! I have no experience with pain and miscarriages. Wow. It's a relief that I at least wrote this bit. I'm sorry that it's really short but it'll have to do. I'm really not impressed with how I'm writing this. I imagined it so differently in my head and I'm just really disappointed. I just feel like abandoning this story. Ugh.

Anyways, review and make me happy?


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